Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Engagement Lessons

David and I have been engaged for just under two months now... and what an interesting two months it has been!

It has been a whole range of emotions since the moment David pulled out the ring. From extreme happiness and joy to stress and confusion... the change in our relationship status has been a new experience for sure.

From the very start of our engagement, it was pretty clear to me that I am not like a lot of girls (or at least the stereotype of most females). I have never had a "vision" for my future wedding, nor have I ever sat and looked at wedding stuff in anticipation of my future wedding day. I always knew that I'd like to keep it fairly small and simple. David and I had actually discussed the idea of having a small ceremony and then a party for both sides in our respective countries before we got engaged, but that was the extent of any thoughts or planning that I had pre-engagement. I never thought about colours or themes or dresses. When I went to weddings, or a friend showed me wedding stuff, I knew what I liked or didn't, but that's about as far as my wedding dreams and knowledge went. So when family members and friends started asking questions and wanting to get an idea of what I'd like, I felt overwhelmed. I thought... I like yellow... so let's make that the colour! The only flowers I like are sunflowers... so let's make that the theme! Done.

Ok... it turns out that it was not done. We haven't thought of any complimentary colours yet, and it turns out that sunflowers are very not in season in April (when the date is), and so would be crazy expensive to get, so new flowers it is. I am not a person who cares about flowers in general and usually appreciates wildflowers in the woods more than cultivated gardens with fancy flowers that are "just so". Looking at various flowers baffles and confounds me but I'm sure that myself and my family will be able to sort something out. Although it turns out my tastes seem to run to the eclectic and is not always appreciated by other human beings. So a lot of my ideas for the party have been turned down by any and all people hearing them, and also is usually accompanied with the "Erin. No." face. And here I thought weddings were the time that the bride could go nuts and do what they wanted!

Something else that has been interesting is people's reaction to our wedding date. We got engaged in August 2013 and plan on marrying over Easter break (we get two weeks here for school holidays), in April 2014. That makes it about an eight month engagement. Now, I know most typical engagements are a year or more which does make sense as weddings are a lot of work and having that time would be useful but it just wasn't something that we wanted. While eight months is still not that quick of an engagement, we have gotten some really crazy reactions. From people hinting that there might be a little reason for us to get married quickly (nope!), to just reacting shocked and then pressuring me to explain why we are "in such a rush" to some amazing people who are simply supportive. It really surprised me how much judgement people have put on us for getting married before the usual engagement gestational period. To me, if you are ready to get engaged, you are ready to marry and so waiting around doesn't make that much sense. We have other reasons to pick April that are more practical but really... we don't want to wait ages to move in and start our life together.

Something being engaged has changed is how our conversations that we have about our relationship and future. There is something very comforting about knowing where the future is leading to and who I will be sharing it with. Wedding talk has also brought up some ways that we are different (I am fighting for some form of TARDIS at the party but David... and my mom... tells me that it's silly but darn it... it would be so cool!), and many ways that we are similar. We both agree that the details of the wedding aren't that important, but it's more the marriage that we are wanting to focus on, which is great and I feel like a healthy way to look at the whole getting married thing. The only problem is... in order to get married, we will need to sort out some of the details first.

Sigh... and so I go to look at more pictures of bouquets.

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